An Inspector Walks Into a Bar

...And refuses to sign off on such a safety hazard, forcing the owner to redesign his plumbing.

While that joke doesn't have anything to do with my work (I hope!), there is an old joke about a scientist and an artist that actually does:

A beautiful woman stands at the end of a long room. However, the only way to reach her is by travelling half-distances, once per minute. The artist quickly crosses half the room; as he waits for the next minute, the scientist calls after him, "Hey, you can never actually touch her; why bother?" The artist calls back, "Ah, but eventually, I'll get close enough!"

Weekend Work

And what a weekend it was! My family - at least, my parents and two of my siblings - visited for the weekend, and I took advantage of their offer of help. Here are a few of the many things we accomplished:

The Playhouse

This is probably the biggest thing overall that was accomplished. Dad took the lead in this project, since he's the best at carpentry. I had previously purchased all the lumber we needed, and had assembled the basic supports. We cut all the cross boards, and set them in place; it turned out that I was three boards short in my calculations, so I had to go back for more lumber, but it all worked out. And look at how well it turned out!

Wood Floors

I love wood floors. I really do. Carpet can be soft and padded, and tile can be very beautiful, but wood is far more than that. It's smooth and comforting, warm and comfortable. The wood in my house is ancient, at least as far as my part of the world is concerned. It has been worn smooth by countless footsteps, all the edges softened and all the splinters worn away by the best sandpaper of all: human skin. Ok, that may seem a little disturbing, but if you think about it, it's true; the best violins have been caressed by human hands, the softest jeans are the ones that you've nearly worn through, and the most comfortable shoes in the world have been wrapped around your feet for years.

When carpet wears, it gets thin and gray. It gets used up. Tile doesn't really wear much; I suppose there are comfortable, worn paths in England or Italy, where those tiles were in use for thousands of years... but rock tends to be pretty stable. Wood, though, is soft. Even the hardest woods will be worn down over time. But, unlike carpet (or clothes), when it's worn, it's still just as functional. All those hands and feet and bottoms sliding over baseball bats, floors, and chairs smooth every bump to perfection.